Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
