the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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