She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
