her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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