They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
