Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
