I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
