Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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