i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
