i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
