Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
