covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Drake has all the answers
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
