dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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