You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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