It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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