if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My vagina is officially offended.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
