I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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