The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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