If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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