Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
