If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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