I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
