Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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