She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think your dad took our porno
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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