who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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