So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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