she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
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