so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
