I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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