i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
