Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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