Jerry, you need to find god
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
