I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
