why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
