the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
please come you make the beer taste better
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm really busy with my period
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