Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
