I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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