i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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