Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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