So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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