Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
