so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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