Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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