38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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