How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
