turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
did i just pee glitter
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
