i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
