so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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