Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
