Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize