He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
