he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
try to milk me bitch
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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