I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
