You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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