six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
