So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
