I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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