The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
