Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
