I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
