Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
