In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
