Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
